OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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