I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
