By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
