I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
