dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
