Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
