brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
