Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
