with your own penis?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
