This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
