Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize