you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
