why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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