I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
