So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
