I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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