Having a random hookup so left but love u
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize