I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
