A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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