I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
