We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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