I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
