Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
