the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
