from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
