it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
