Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
