And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
