Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
