I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm bleeding and have questions
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
