You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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