He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is wine microwaveable?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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