Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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