I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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