i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
