She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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