Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
