he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Say something about gay babies.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
