just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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