I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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