ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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