i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
