I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
