So drunk its hurt
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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