i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
