i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
