how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i now understand why vodka
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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