i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
