if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
