She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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