i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
