is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
