Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she peed on how many people?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
