doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
