I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
