Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
