i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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