Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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