You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
