Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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