Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
