guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
