I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
