Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
