Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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