i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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