someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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